I cannot believe that just a couple of weeks ago I was in Africa, the continent of my dreams. Since I was young thats all I ever wanted to do. I didn't want to be rich or famous, I didn't invest in talents or hobbies, all I could think about was Africa. I wanted to bring hope to the hopeless. So here I am, back in Sheboygan Wisconsin and it feels like it was all just a dream, it feels as though I never even left. But I did, I spent 8 months in Africa and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for the world.
I always had this idea that I would step off of the plane and immediately fall in love with the people of Africa, I pictured my entire time in Africa as a spiritual high in which I had a continual supply of love pouring out of me. It was rough when a couple weeks into ministry I realized it was not that way. African children can get on my nerves just as much as American children can. There were days I felt I didn't have any love in me. It took me far too long to realize that in and of myself I do not have the love that is required of me, it's only through Christ that we can love. As time went by I started to see the people, not as a ministry project, but as my friends, my family. They were no different than you and I. They stole my heart away and a peice of me will always be in Jeffreys Bay South Africa. This past year was not easy by any means, I am grateful for that. God did not want us to have a good time in Africa and that be all, He wanted to shape us. He didn't want us to just learn things as head knowledge, but He placed us in the fire and allowed us to experience His truth. The death of my friend and teammate Sarah Buller changed me in a way that I could have never experienced through words on a page. God has taught me that our lives are just a moment, we are NEVER guarunteed another heart beat, we are NOT invincable. This should not cause us to be always fearful or avoiding death but rather give each day everything you've got. Don't live with regrets and never leave a person at odds. Love with your entire heart and do everything for the glory of God. God didn't intend for us to stay on this earth so why do we cling to every opportunity to prolong our stay? We aren't meant for this place, we have a heavenly calling and the end of this life will be the most beautiful day ever, the day we run into the arms of the One who holds our hearts.
Africa was amazing, I loved it, and I will never forget the things I have been taught there.
It's hard to believe that right now I am in America...Africa already seems so far away. There is so much to update you all on but at this point I don't have the time as I am in Georgia spending the last day with my teammates and I will be flying home tomorrow. I will actually not even be in Wisconsin for a whole 24 hours before I get in the car with my family and truck across the United States to Mexico for my sisters wedding. I plan to write a very long blog explaining what has happened in the past month but it may be a couple of days or weeks before I can do it. All I can say right now is, I miss Africa...and I don't know how I will say goodbye to my teammates tomorrow. It's going to be rough.
Sorry that it has been so long since I have last blogged. To be honest I have written blogs every week but for some odd reason I can never get them to post.
So I feel like alot has happened since I last wrote but I don't know what you all know so far but I will briefly update you.
So at the orphanage we have recieved two new children. One is a nine year old girl and the other is a 6 month old baby. The baby has stolen my heart. He came weighing just 3.8 kgs! He is nothing but loose skin over bones, it just breaks my heart to see how someone could allow a child to be treated that way. He's the most beautiful little baby ever! If I had the opportunity I would take him home with me! Please be praying for him that whoever decides to keep him will take good care of him, I'm having troubles trusting anyone with him after how he's already been treated. Secondly please be praying as I am considering returning to live at the orphanage and work under Nelly.
Ithemba is going great. My kids are learning so much and I really enjoy being with them. They are crazy as usual and at times hard to handle but they have a way of wrapping me around their tiny fingers.
DOG(Disciples of God) is going so wonderfully. Its so exciting to hear how God is working in the lives of the youth. Last week we let the kids come up for testimonies and I thought no one would come up. There ended up being so many students wanting to share what GOd was doing in their lives that we had to turn some down. Its so neat to hear of students who went from a life of sleeping around, drugs and alcohol but are now passionately pursuing a life for Christ. Keep praying for them!
So yea thats my brief update. This week I am heading off to Capetown for spring break with some friends it shall be nice and hopefully relaxing which is something I really need right now. God bless and keep in touch. -Sama
So last night was our official opening of the D.O.Gs program. That stands for Disciples of God, which is the youth program that I've been working with. I can't express how encouraged I was as we silenced the room and one by one we allowed the students to lift their prayers up to God. I was nearly brought to tears as they went on. I could hear real genuine passion in their words. Here are youth who have SO much going on in their lives. Girls who have been taken from their homes of Zimbabwe and forced to live in a country not their own, who cannot even afford to go to school. Students who have been abandon by their parents or who have lost their family members from HIV or who themselves have it. Girls who have been raped and abused. There is more going on in their lives than any of us could ever even fathom but their passion and their faith is so strong. They cling to God with all that they have. I see God doing a great thing here in Jeffreys Baai, he has done such a huge transformation in the hearts of the youth and I do not doubt that he's going to use them to impact this community. It brings me such joy to know I can invest my time here in these students and rest assure that GOd will finish the work He has begun and His ministry here will never end. Please keep praying for them. Pray that they will seek the Lord with their whole hearts, that they will turn from the wickedness of this world and fall into the arms of the One who offers them redemption and restoration. Pray they will stand up for their faith and set an example to all around them. They need your prayers, please think of them.
Hello all I hope you are all doing well. I just wanted to post a little update on whats going on here in Jeffreys Bay. Life is crazy and stressful but amazing all at the same time. Here is a brief update on my ministries...
Ithemba...
Oh my goodness Ithemba is a crazy place. We have almost an entirely different group of kids and most of them are younger so my class of first and second graders ranges anywhere from 7-30 students. It's difficult because they are very inconsistent with their attendence which makes it hard to teach them. They are very active kids and sometimes they make me want to scream but they also have me wrapped around their fingers. I am so in love with these kids I cannot even express. I really enjoy working at Ithemba and each day I can't wait to return there.
7th Heaven...
I fall in love more and more with Nelly the owner with every minute I talk to her. She is such an amazing woman of God and we've become good friends. We currently have 7 kids who live there permanently but kids come in and out all the time, just this morning we got three more. It's so hard to see how it just tears the kids apart to be passed around so much. The oldest of the girls was crying the entire time and won't open up to anyone. I hope it'll get easier for her as she realizes that Nelly really does love her and her home is a safe place for her.
Please keep the orphanage in prayers as they are having some financial problems. If you are interested in supporting them or want more information on whats going on just email and I will let you know.
D.O.G.S( disciples of God)
We've finaly started! This is the youth group that I work with and I'm so excited to be back! God has really laid the youth on my heart so I'm excited for what he's got planned this year. I have gotten closer to some of the girls there and they are so amazing. I really see God raising them up as leaders and I know He will continue to use them long after I'm gone!
So yea that's some of what is going on here. Its really great and I don't know if I could be happier here. God is doing some big things here. Please keep us constantly in your prayers though because with all that God wants to do Satan wants to fight back. Just this semester our team has experienced 5 deaths amongst our friends and family. It's been very hard on our team as we are very emotionally and physically exhausted. There has been other things going on as well that have been very discouraging. So yes please keep us in your prayers.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God you will not despise. Psalm 51:16
I'm glad this is all God asks for because at times I feel this is all I have to offer.
::God has broken me::
When I came to Africa I was a bit disappointed because I expected it to be this emotional experience and I felt nothing. I saw the horrors right in front of me and yet it didn't faze me, but then I fell in love. It was when I allowed my heart to be swept away by the people of Africa that I was finally shattered. The pain that goes on in this place overwhelms me. I feel like this semester our team broke a layer. After 5 months of investing in these relationships we made a break through but in that we have seen a whole different side of what is going on here. I remember when I first got to Jeffreys Bay I didn't think it was that bad here. I wanted to go deeper into Africa because I thought everyone was doing alright here, I was wrong. This layer that we have broken through has opened us up to a whole new realm of pain. Sometimes the burdens are too much to bear, but that's when the beauty comes in. We do not have to carry the burden for they are not ours bear.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God you will not despise. Psalm 51:16
I'm glad this is all God asks for because at times I feel this is all I have to offer.
::God has broken me::
When I came to Africa I was a bit disappointed because I expected it to be this emotional experience and I felt nothing. I saw the horrors right in front of me and yet it didn't faze me, but then I fell in love. It was when I allowed my heart to be swept away by the people of Africa that I was finally shattered. The pain that goes on in this place overwhelms me. I feel like this semester our team broke a layer. After 5 months of investing in these relationships we made a break through but in that we have seen a whole different side of what is going on here. I remember when I first got to Jeffreys Bay I didn't think it was that bad here. I wanted to go deeper into Africa because I thought everyone was doing alright here, I was wrong. This layer that we have broken through has opened us up to a whole new realm of pain. Sometimes the burdens are too much to bear, but that's when the beauty comes in. We do not have to carry the burden for they are not ours bear.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," the Lord explains in Isaiah 55:8. Sometimes I cling to this verse when I just don't understand God. I have to remind myself that the Lord is way beyond me and He knows far better than me so who am I to tell Him how to do things. Sometimes I feel like the Lord brings people and circumstances into our lives to do something in us and we'll never quite grasp the depths of the impact they really had on us. My friendship with Princess is a perfect example of this. From the time that I first heard about her in a prayer session God placed her on my heart. One of my teammates shared that they had met a lady sick with HIV and asked for us to pray for her. Immediately I began asking about her I felt as though I needed to meet her. Kepp shared with me that she met her doing house visits but didn't remember where she lived, the only one who knew was a lady named Felicity. Well it just so happened that on the way back from the prayer service I ran into Felicity, I know that God placed Felicity on my path because never before and never again have I seen her in that area of town but Felicity was happy to introduce her to me and that's where our friendship began. For the next 4 months I visited Princess often. I'd take her to church with me or just stop by and visit her. As time went by Princess's health deteriorated and she was often in the hospital and so I was able to visit her there as well. During Christmas break when I went to visit her she was nothing but skin and bones and she could no longer walk. My friends and I continued to visit her and would help her walk so she could sit outside for a bit of fresh air. My prayers in that time became more frequent and more insistent; I began praying for a miracle. In my heart I really believed the Lord would perform that miracle so when I got the news that Princess passed away my heart shattered. Why Lord? Why did you choose to take her like that? Why couldn't you have healed her? Why did she have to suffer so much pain? Why couldn't she live to see her little girls grow up? These answers I have not found. God's plan in bringing her into my life I also do not fully understand, but I know that He did and I know His plan is far bigger than I can comprehend. What I do know is that as I walked to ministry the next day my heart ached, it ached because I really loved my dear friend Princess and I really poured into her. I feared that losing someone I loved would cause me to hesitate loving again knowing I will one day lose them as well, but that's not at all what happened. That sting of pain encourages me all the more because it meant I really did love her and I want to love all the people God brings in my life that way. I want my heart to ache when I leave them for then, I feel, I really loved them with the love of Christ.
Second semester has started and I couldn't be more excited to get in the swing of things. Last week was quite difficult as we had to say goodbye to our other teammates. Our team of 50 was split into 3 teams, one going to Swaziland, one went to Port Elizabeth, and my team stayed back in Jeffrey's Bay. It was not easy to say goodbye, we had all become like family and I couldn't help but feel left behind as the other teams were going off to new exciting locations and we were left in the same spot just with less people. There was a heaviness in the air for the first two days but the mood quickly changed as my team members returned from Holiday. When Amber, Aaryn, Alexis, and Ellen entered, the house was filled with laughter and joy again. I don't think we have stopped laughing since. My new team consists of 13 girls, no boys. At first I felt as though we got the short end of the stick as a team, we got no boys, the smallest team and only two leaders. This week as we spent time together and began figuring out our ministries I can see I was totally wrong. It is very evident with each moment that passes that God had his hand in picking this team. We may be a small team of females but God has big plans and I think we're going to cover some major ground. It's amazing to see how each of the girls on our team has such strong passions about certain people and ministries and yet they're all different enough so that we will be able to pour into many areas.
I am going to continue working at Ithemba, the after school center that I have been working with all year. The kids there are one of the main reasons I decided to stay in Jbay. The kids have stolen my heart and just three weeks without them has made me miss them so much. I feel like big things are going to happen there. We have two new members of our Ithemba crew and I feel as though they are a perfect addition to our team. Trinos, the leader of Ithemba has a lot of vision for this year and although I do not know exactly what that is I have a feeling it will be good.
Not only will I be working at Ithemba but I will also work at the orphanage here called 7th Heaven. During the break I spent some time there just for fun and I have fallen in love with it there. 7th Heaven is run by an amazing woman of God named Nelly. She is a single lady who has an never ending supply of love pouring out of her. She has an open house to children who need a place to stay but there are 7 kids there that are consistently there. The children range from a 10 month old up to a 13 year old. Linda is the oldest girl. She's 13 and the sweetest thing ever. Her and Tessa the 10 year old are like little mothers. They love to care for the babies and you practically have to pry them out of their arms. I am excited about the girls as I feel as I could be a big sister to them. I would really love to pour into Linda especially. The next child is an 8 year old boy named Renaldo, he had 6 year old Cornelius are best friends. They're always dancing around together pretending to be the guys from High School Musical 3. Lady is the newest addition to the family. She is two years old and just about the cutest little thing. She's always at my heals blabbering in Afrikaans, I just respond pretending as though I understand her. The babies are Blessing who is 14 months and Angel who's 10 months, both of which were found near starvation. When they were found people didn't think they would even make it they were so malnourished, but with Nelly's love and care they are now bouncing bundles of joy. All of the children adore them, even the boys wake up early in the morning so they can have a chance to help care for them. I just can't get enough of this family and I have been going there in my free time to be with them. Just Saturday I took all of them down to the beach. I don't even feel like they are my ministry but rather that they are my family here. I love to just sit and talk to Nelly, I think she could teach me so much.
I am really excited to see what God is doing right now as I see him stirring something up in my heart. Since last year he has brought a bunch of girls along my path and has been continually tugging on my heart about them. I have met each of them in different circumstances but all of them are about the same age. I don't think it's a coincidence that they're all about the same age and I have such a strong feeling about each of them. I am trying to pray and see what God is saying but I am thinking of leading a Bible Study on Purity with them. Please pray as I would have to come up with it completely on my own.
So that's a little update on life here in Jbay, I will keep you all posted on what happens as I feel God is about to do something big! God bless!
My first semester is finished this page of my life has been turned. For the past 3 months I have been living in Jeffreys Bay for the Awakening portion of my experience here. It's hard to believe it's over. I feel as though we were just at training camp at Gainsville Georgia. I remember feeling so overwhelmed those first couple of days with my team. I was homesick and unsure if this was really where I was meant to be. I remember looking around at my team and thinking, "How will I ever bond with these people." I didn't know them, they didn't know me and yet we were to form a team and travel to the other side of the world together.
Three months later as I sat in one of our last discipleship sessions as a team where we gave our last words to eachother I just broke down crying. These former strangers are now like family to me. They have been my family these past couple of months. We have been through times of tribulation and times of celebration together. We've watched as each one of us has been ripped to pieces and then built back together again. The bond and unity we have as a team is nothing but the Lord‘s doing. He did such great things among us. It breaks my heart to have to say goodbye to so many. These people have taught me so much and I now see the beauty of the body of Christ in this group of misfits. Misfits is what we are. As I look up misfits in my dictionary it says, "somebody who does not belong: somebody who is out of place in a particular situation or environment." We all know deep down that we don't belong here, this earth is not our home. We are just passing through. We are exiles in this land, our citizenship is heaven and until we get there we will never truly be home.
Greetings from South Africa...
