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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 7/24/2008
Dear Friends and Family,
Only 46 days until I begin my journey! The thought actually scares me to death. It seems as though there is still so much to do before I go and time is just flying by. Right now I am living in Sheboygan Wisconsin with my family and just really enjoying time here. Although I really haven't done much besides work its been a nice time to relax and reflect. I'm always on the move so there is rarely a time in life where I can just stop and think so this summer has been nice. I have had a lot of time to just read in the Word.
One thing that God has really been showing me is that He desires us to know Him more. After being in Bible School I just expected to have things down and I'd be able to advance and learn greater truths. I was growing very frustrated as I needed to back track and solidify my foundational beliefs. After talking one night with a good friend I was very encouraged as he reminded me that its not about being this super spiritual, all understanding Christian, but rather day by day moment by moment trusting the Lord and seeking Him. I think we as Christians so often want to understand all these things about the Lord and grow frustrated when so much of it is beyond our understanding, but maybe God made it that way for a reason, so that we would have to just trust him moment by moment and stand in awe of just how great He is. God knows what He wants to reveal to us and some days its just the simple things, but even in those things He's working greatly. God is good.
Please be praying for me as I continue preparing to leave. I still have to raise quite a bit more money which has been a great stressor but Ephesians 3:20 and 21 has been my comfort, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen" I know that God is in control and if this is where He wants me to go, which I believe it is, then He will provide. Also pray for the Lord to prepare me mentally and spiritually as I will be leaving many behind and voyaging to a place of great uncertainty for me. I do not know exactly what the Lord has for me there but I know that He knows what lays ahead of me and He can prepare me. Lastly please pray for my friends and family. I know me leaving has put a great deal of stress on them and I just desire so greatly for them to understand why I am doing this, and also for them to rest knowing that I am in safe hands.
Thank you all for your prayer and support. You each have been such an encouragement to my life. How I wish I could just sit down and talk to you personally and hear about your lives. Please feel free to write, call, email, anything and keep me posted on your lives and how I could be praying for you. I love you each so much. God bless you. -Samantha
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know that this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19
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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 7/18/2008
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" Ephesians 6:12 has never felt so true to me before. I believe that the devil so greatly wants to turn us from the Lord and discourage God's children. Since I have been home I have been really struggling with my faith. I was struggling all together here, I felt as though I had nowhere to rest and nowhere to turn. All of the people I depended on were so far away and my friends here had pushed me aside. I felt so alone in the world so I turned to the Lord but the devil did not want that. He placed a spirit of doubt in my mind and for weeks attacked me with discouragment. Every church service, Bible Study, or conversation with other believers only brought discouragement because it was constant debating. We'd debate salvation and how it works, we debated end times, what the Bible really says, etc. I never left feeling the slightest bit encouraged. I left so discouraged. "How can I place my faith in something that is so unclear" The devil ran with those thoughts and attempted to rip the ground from beneath me. I couldn't feel God, I couldn't hear Him, I felt utterly alone. But my God loves me too much to let me go. Out of nowhere he brought someone in my life who he used SO greatly to encourage me. It was my friend Jon, we were talking one night and I do not exactly know what led to this topic of conversation but Jon shared with me some of his current struggles and shared some passages that have brought him encouragement lately. He only gave me the references so I was forced to look up the passages in my Bible, opening it for the first time in days. As I read I became consumed. I felt so blind, so confused, I couldn't rely on what other people told me was truth. I needed to know for myself, I needed to read it from God's Word. So that night I began reading, I woke up the next morning and read even more. As I was praying God convicted me, I was not coming to the Lord in faith. Prayer had not been something very big in my life lately because I didn't have faith in God, there was always a spirit of doubt blinding me to the greatness of God. Every time I prayed for something I didn't expect God to answer it because I had so much doubt. So I began reading in Mark and the first thing underlined was "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Prayer is an act of dependence on God, and here Jesus was showing that dependence and yet I couldn't? I felt so convicted...i read on and nothing else was underlined (which is rare in my bible because i'm always circling and underlining things) but the next part underlined was "When Jesus saw their faith" The next couple of days I became so hungry for God's Word. Morning after morning I'd spend hours in His word. Reading in Genesis, Mark, anything that would rebuild my foundation and help me to figure out what I believe. Over and over there was a theme of faith. God requires faith, God has done it all, we need to just believe. All through out Mark people are approaching Jesus and because they believe they are healed of whatever they are struggling with. They come to Him broken and believing he can do what he says and he recognizes that and heals them. Jon and I continued to write eachother every day sharing with one another what God pointed out to them that day and I was continually encouraged and challenged with each message. This morning I woke up early desiring to just spend time in prayer and read more but I wanted to deviate from my studies in Genesis and Mark and read from the New Testament just from some encouragement. For some reason Ephesians came to mind and so i decided to read through it. I prayed to the Lord in desperation that He would speak to me because I just needed so desperately to hear His voice and be encouraged by the only one who can bring true encouragement. THe Lord answered that prayer. All through the book of Ephesians things stuck out to me that brought me to tears. Pauls prayer to the church in Ephesis became my prayer "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom that you may know him better" Eph 1:17 Also the passage where he says "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us to him be the glory in the church and in CHrist Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever amen." Eph 3:16-20 This passage just showed me that God loves me so much that I could never even fathom it. When you seek the love of other people it doesn't take very long to realize there are short comings and their love is not unconditional, but to have a love so great that we need to pray in order to understand it. How incredible is that. We can spend our entire lives seeking to grasp it but I don't believe we'll ever truly experience it all. It's too great. But then I love the part where it says that God can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. How often I put God in a box, limiting his power in my mind. Say for my financial circumstances its hard for me to believe that I can roll in a couple thousand dollars in the next couple of months, but is this God of mine bound by money? No he can do all and he wants to lavish his love on his children, he can provide for me. But finally at the end of the book of Ephesians Paul warns his believers, "Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God." Paul knew fully well that the devil was in an attack against us and here he is warning us to stand strong but our strength is not in ourselves but in all that God has given us. We are in a battle and its a hard one, but we have our father to fight it for us. But it saddens me how separated the church has become, everyone is always splitting and debating when we are called to be one body, we need to be united and to build up and encourage one another and fight this good fight with one another. So dear friends I am pleading with you, use your sword, stay in the Word, do not be lead astray, do not let the devil have a foothole in your life...and "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" , encourage one another! We are not of this world, so lets not act like it, live a life that is pleasing to the Lord, I don't know how much time we have left, so do not waste it. We are here momentarily and for a great purpose, never lose sight of that.
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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 7/8/2008
I was reading the team blog page when I came across something, something I have seen quite a few times in the past couple of weeks but it has never quite hit me. It was a brief schedule of our year in Africa. Suddenly my heart skipped a beat and I felt as though I'd begin crying. I'm going to Africa, I'm really freaking going to Africa! The thought baffles me. I cannot comprehend. This has been my dream from little on. Some people wanted to be teachers, others police men, me, I wanted to go to Africa. I was really convicted however one day as I talking to my friend Luke. He told me how I was never really there as a friend because all my life I had been too preoccupied with the orphans in Africa. This is true, from about middle school on I've known my calling was Africa and I became consumed with how I'd get there and so all through my highschool years I was there in body but I was forward 4 years in mind planning how I'd go to Bible School. After graduating highschool I went to New Tribes Bible Institute and before I knew it I was no longer at Bible School, my mind was serving in Africa. I looked back at my life and realized how much life I've wasted always planning for my next step but failing to realize that God had me right where I was and he was going to use me right there, sure maybe one day I'd be in Africa but for now I was in Waukesha Wisconsin at New Tribes Bible Institute learning more about this GOd I so loved and wanted to serve with my life. My prayer soon became for the Lord to keep me content with where He has me at each point in life. The Lord has been so faithful to answer that prayer. So now when people ask me the so frequently asked question, "are you excited for Africa?" I do not even know how to answer because I've hardly been able to think about it...I'm happy just where I am. And right now God has me sitting in my living room with my one year old nephew Landon sitting on my lap so patiently waiting for his auntie Sam to play and thats what I'm going to do because in not too long I won't be able to do just that. So right now I will post this blog shut my computer and enjoy these last two months the Lord has blessed me with the just enjoy with my family. Until next time...
Sama
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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 4/16/2008
Today I was struggling all day, nothing went wrong but it was a day of condemnation. That voice in the back of my head whispered all day long "you're a failure, you cannot do anything right" Anything anyone said or did I read into convincing myself that they hated me, convincing myself I was totally unloveable. One thing the Lord really has been teaching me though is I do not have to care! My value is not in what others think of me, how many friends I have, what i do, or what i am like. My value is solely in Christ Jesus my Lord. I am beautiful and wonderful in the eyes of my Creator and it has nothing to do with anything I have done! It is because Christ is living in me! This is so amazing and I'm nowhere near understanding but then tonight I had to write a paper on John 15. I'm not a very good writer and so it's not well written but it taught me so much so i wanted to share it. Read on if you desire...
It has happened again, you have tried the live the "perfect Christian life" but once again fell flat on your face.
"But I was doing so great!" You cry out as the plates you were spinning fall crashing to the floor. You are tired. You are weak. You are sick of playing this game. "I give up! I cannot do it anymore!" you tell the Lord.
"Ah" sighs the Lord, "You are finally where I want you to be!"
John 15:5 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." This small parable holds the secret to the Christian walk. Jesus is explaining in this verse that we are nothing more than branches, we are absolutely worthless and unable to produce any fruit on our own. Just take a look at a branch apart from the vine, shortly after being broken off it dies, it can no longer produce anything of value. Branches cannot produce fruit. No matter how much a branch prettied itself up, no matter how convincingly he glued plastic fruit to himself, he cannot produce anything. We as Christians are no different than that silly branch. We might possibly fool the world for awhile by trying to create our own fruit apart from our source, but our Father in Heaven knows the truth and before long everyone else will know too. We cannot do it, no matter how charming, strong, intellectual, or seemingly spiritual we are, we cannot do it.
"So what's the secret?" You ask. The secret my friend is to give up! The secret lies apart from the branch, search the branch all you want but you will not find it. Look away from that pathetic branch and transfer your eyes over to that vine. There it is! There is the secret to life! The vine is the one that produces the fruit all the branch has to do is be connected to that vine and it will bear fruit! We have a seemingly unattainable goal ahead of us, to be "like Christ." We cannot do it, but the Lord has commanded it and He would never assign us a task without providing a way for it to be accomplished. That is just it though, He provided the way for it to be accomplished, we have to stop looking to ourselves to get the job done. No matter how much we try, it is only in vain because God never expected us to do it. We are not called to try to imitate Christ, if we tried it would be ugly. God provided a way for us to be like Christ and that is through Christ living out His life through us. It is not us doing the work, it is Him! He is our vine and all we must do is abide in Him.
What does that mean? What does it mean to abide? It is simple, do not be confused, to abide is simply to remain. Just as we did nothing to save ourselves, we do nothing to bear fruit Christ has already done the job and there is nothing left to do, we just have to accept it. In Christ we have all, we do not have to strive to be patient, or loving, or produce any of that fruit because we have it all in us, we have it because we have Christ. It is done, we just need to take it and believe it as truth and rest in our new life! We have an amazing God who has done the most amazing thing for us, I stand amazed!
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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 4/9/2008
the title is true,
I have done it once again, put myself at the center of my life even before GOd. It's amazing how you don't even realize you're doing it until its too late and you're once again flat on your face worshipping that idol. I was doing really good all week, just loving life and all the people in it when I got sick. I got pretty darn sick and so was bed bound for a couple days and so I had some time to just stop and think. As I layed there God really convicted me, I placed myself before Him in my life. God amazes me, here He is, the amazing God of the universe. He created all things, He is all powerful, all Holy, Perfect etc...and then there is me...I am nothing compared to Him, yet I turn to myself more than Him. I deserve to be zapped by Him yet what does GOd do? He forgives me and then blesses me even more! I cannot understand.
This song has been my song and prayer of the week...
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love,
To give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
And I pray,
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
Take my world apart
Worlds Apart.
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Posted in General Articles
by Samantha Jakus
on 4/7/2008
I have no posted any blogs yet which I greatly apologize for. I hate to be one to make constant excuses but at the same time I don't want you to just see me as lazy. Lately my life has been so busy that I have to use EVERY spare second wisely, which means if I park my bus for five minutes I'm either working on my prayer letters, doing homework, or getting my reading done. Oh you probably don't know, I drive a school bus! My days are filled with constant action which starts at 7 and goes til midnight. It's been crazy but today I am sick, so I was just sitting in my room feeling like crap and I thought "Hey I can finally blog!" So here goes...
I do not actually know what I am supposed to blog about so I will kind of just start writing my thoughts.
This weekend was my birthday and it really made me realize what amazing people I have in my life. I am currently at New Tribes Bible Institute where I have had the best friendships of my life. I was sitting and talking with my roommate the other night until 2am, we discussed how being here is like the closest thing to heaven on earth. Where else in life do you have over 200 people living together who are totally in love with the Lord and their greatest desire is to serve Him with their lives. Every person here has a story about how God is using them. Every one here genuinely loves eachother, the teachers know you by name, invite you to their houses, and pray for you on a regular basis. Multiple times everyday you can just sit down and have a deep conversation with someone and hear what God is doing in their lives. The guys are our brothers and are always watching out for us girls. Just a couple of weeks ago I was walking home alone when a car began following me and a man tried to lure me to his car. I immediately called my friend Shane who immediately went into action and made sure I was alright as well as warned everyone to avoid that car and for the rest of the day the boys would walk with the girls if they had to go anywhere. This is not normal. All my life I have had bad experiences with men, men treating me as if I was nothing more than a sex tool. It's not like that here, I have great friends who I know love me, ones that I could trust with my life. So as I was talking with my roommate I got this deep saddness come over me. In just a short amount of weeks I will have to say goodbye to all of these people who have become like family to me. Each of us are from a different location from the world and heading to do ministry in another area of the world. Most of us will probably never see eachother again. It breaks my heart to even think about it. Sarah reminded me of something though that I had never really thought of before. She told me that one day we'll be in heaven where all of these people who have impacted my life so much will all be together and there will be no more sin tainting these relationships but we will be perfect and we will all be worshipping our Savior together! What a beautiful day that will be!
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