Samantha Jakus - Serving The Kingdom

TIA

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

TIA, 'this is Africa' is a common phrase we use here in Africa meaning, we are no longer in America living by our rules and customs. We are now in Africa and we do things the way the Africans do it. This is something I was challenged alot with last year. We must live with an 'expect the unexpected' mindset and go with the flow no matter what we are asked to do or where we go, we must adapt and serve in whatever way possible. This is something we've really had to live by this time around. James and I arrived Thursday morning having had little to no sleep the night before and very jet lagged. We were originally moved into the orphanage where we were planning to spend the next two months. We were given a bed to share in the baby room which was shared with the three littlest ones so it was quite cramped as the five of us shared a small room. Shortly after arriving we found out that there were complaints of how many people were staying in the house so we decided it be best to move. We were so blessed that same night my friend Ryan offered for us to stay in the flat he's living in with our good friends, a couple named Grace and Blessing from Zimbabwe and their baby More Blessing. They have been so great to us allowing us to live with them. Its a tight fit but we have no complaints and I am very greatful. Ryan, James and I are sharing a room and the family from Zim share the other room. Its been a great time of fellowship together as we make and eat dinner together every night and spend our evenings together and end the night in prayer as a family. I have been so blessed to see the work of the Body of Believers. Here we are people from all areas of the world with backrounds from every end of the spectrum but when we are together with our hearts and faith in common we have a bond that runs deep. Its so beautiful when you meet a fellow believer for the first time and your hearts just connect. Last night we had a guest spend the night, her name is Hazel and her son Prince. Grace met Hazel in the delivery room when they both gave birth to their baby boys. Hazel is also from Zimbabwe and was so thrilled to meet people from her home country and Christians as well. So last night we all gathered around our tiny living room table eating African style and chatting. I love the hospitality of Africans how they have so little but they give whatever they can. We clearly didn't have much room for anyone else but Blessing chose to sleep on the living room floor so that Hazel could sleepover.

So things here in Jeffreys Bay are going well, we have faced many challenges but God is good and we have been blessed throughout them. The majority of my day is spent at the orphanage which I am really loving. The kids and Nelly have become like family to me. We currently have 12 children ranging from Hope who is 8 months old up to Linda who is 14. God has really just been laying on my heart to have a servants heart and serve Him and others in the little things. My days normally consist of doing preschool activities for Michelle, Blessing and Lady, our toddlers, helping with endless amounts of laundry, cleaning, dishes, packing and spending time with the kiddos. The kids are really doing great and I have seen so much growth in them since last year, physically and emotionally. I am so impressed by the way Nelly raises them and know I can learn alot from her. She teaches the children that rather than fighting they must work out their problems so they have meetings where the whole family comes together and discusses different issues that has come up in the week and how they can deal with it. Its so cute seeing the little kids being like, "Lady you've been wearing my shoes when I asked you not to." Simple little things like that but they choose to work through it, its adorable! They also begin their mornings with devotions together and pray together every night, I love to see that. All the kids are so happy and it is my prayer that they can continue to live with Nelly and grow up in this atmosphere where they are loved and cared for and raised to know Christ. Please continue to pray for each one of them they come from such horrible pasts yet Christ has blessed them with this opportunity to be free from that. Pray that they would be able to stay there and continue to heal from their past and come to know the Lord. Here are the kids names and ages so you know who you are praying for.

Linda 14

Tessa 11

Kelly (around 10)

Thandi 10

Ronaldo 9

Colas 7

Renee 7

Lady 4

Michelle 3

Blessing 2

Angel 2

Hope 8 months

Thanks for all of your prayers and support. God bless. -Sama

1 week til take off!

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think..." Ephesians 3:20

This verse was often my encouragement as I planned my first trip to Africa. I had this huge amount of money to raise and I had no clue how I'd be able to, so I reminded myself of this verse over and over. I cannot explain how amazing it is to have to live by faith, to not have any clue how things will work out but just have faith that God will provide, and then see Him do so. When I started planning my return to Africa I decided not to figure out all the details first but step out in faith and know that if it was Gods will for me to go He would provide. Well He did just that with hardly a hand lifted on my part, within a couple of days I had all I needed and more financially. God has used so many people to bless my life and show His provision!

So it is exactly one week until James and I begin our long journey to South Africa. A long journey indeed it is, we have a three hour flight from Chicago to Atlanta, then we will be in the air from Tuesday at 6:55 pm until Wednesday at 5pm! You think that would be enough traveling but no, we will only be in Johannesburg at that point where we have about a 13 hour layover and then fly out the following morning and will arrive in Port Elizabeth at 8:00 Thursday morning. It will be exhausting, please be in prayer that everything goes smoothly and no flights are canceled or missed!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. God bless you. -Samantha

donations?!

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Hey everyone

Its less than a month now until I will be heading off to Africa!! I have had people interested in the past in donating things to the children (new or used) and so I wanted to let you all know that we'd more than love if you'd donate supplies that we could bring over to the orphanage. I have begun to write a list of ideas but if you have other ideas let me know. If you desire to donate supplies please keep in mind we have to fit this all in our suitcases! I am hoping to bring one suitcase solely for donations...here are some of the ideas and please let me know if you are interested!

Basketball

Soccerball

crayons

markers

paper

colored paper

coloring books

activity books

childrens books

movies (childrens movies and especially developmental ones such as baby einsteins!)

childrens television programs (some ideas...Lazy Town, Veggie Tales, Seasame Street, Backyardigans, Wiggles, Signing Time, other ideas??)

Games (keep in mind they have to fit into a suitcase!)

CDs (the children LOVE music, they have the high school musical cd and listen to it everyday and have even choreographed all of them!)

Clothing(here are the ages and sexes of the children 14G, 13G, 10B, 9B, 6B, 6G, 3G, 3G, 3B, 2G, 3 month old G but she will be 4 months when we get there)

Stuffed animals

dolls

highschool musical stuff

stickers

other ideas??

Thank you all so much God bless! -Samantha

friendship in all shapes and sizes

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Its hard for me to believe my time here in Oaxaca is coming to an end. I have a week and two days left, I know this because I am asked numerous times a day by the children. I have been so blessed during my time here with relationships with people of all ages and backrounds. God has really showed me what amazing things you can learn through having relationships with people of all ages. I remember when I was younger always looking for friends amongst people my own age and with my same interests, how boring! Who wants to be friends with themselves? My relationships here have been with people everywhere from Elaine, a lady in her 50's from Canada who experienced over 20 years of being deaf. She has shown me a beauty that has impacted my life so much. Then there is Leticia a middle aged woman who would go on walks with me many mornings and shared with me about Gods greatness in the hardest of times. She lost her only child 4 years back and yet in it all as clung to God and has experienced his love so deeply. Jill and Janelle are two single ladies in their thirties who have touched my life so much with their friendship. They have been here now for about 2 years and have chosen not to live normal lives of working and raising their own families, but rather pouring their lives into ministry here and the children here. My sister Carmen has showed me a life of passionately giving your all to the ministry you've been called to. She doesn't do things the easy way as she's raising 10 boys, she could easily just let them entertain themselves and run free but rather she pours herself out daily finding new things to do with the boys and teaching them. Reyna is a beautiful young girl who has had more than her fair share of pain but yet greets everyone with such sweetness and love. Life has given her more than most could bare but yet she has chosen, dispite things not going the way she has probably planned to raise her daughter alone, when she had her at the very young age of 14. The children and teenagers here bring me so much joy everyday. Everywhere I go I am greeted by them and given many hugs and kisses. These children have experienced so much pain but yet they are so resilient, they don't sit and feel sorry for themselves, they move on and LIVE, they live with such joy and passion! They have all played such a huge part in my life, every person here and I am thankful for the blessing all of them are to me.

I like to share quotes so here is a passage I found in a book I am reading called "Light from Lucus"

Make the decision to laugh more often, take more risks, love more deeply, complain less, help a neighbor, offer a kind word, clean up a mess that isn't yours, forgive someone, say "I'm sorry", say "thank you", pray for a friend, pray for a stranger, learn something new, set a new goal. Little by little the choices you make today are writing your story. Whether you're given a few more hours or many more years, choose to make a difference, to live your (life) with passion and make every moment count!

Africa!!!

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

We need the eyes of deep faith to see Christ in the broken body and dirty clothes under which the most beautiful one among the sons of men hides. We shall need the hands of Christ to touch these bodies wounded by pain and suffering. Intense love does not measure it gives. Mother Teresa

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. Matthew 25:40

Do you know what its like to hold in your arms a baby who has been so malnourished that at 7 months old he only weighs 10 pounds and doesn't even know how to eat? To bathe him and see every bone in his body? Do you know what its like to have only known a child for a couple hours but already he's stolen your heart? Do you know what it feels like, after loving this little one with all your heart, he slips away, another one stolen away by HIV.

When you step into the doors of 7^th Heaven Children's Haven you're immediately greeted by smiling children. They jabber nonstop and jump into your arms. By their appearance you'd think they were normal happy children, but if you look a little deeper, if you take the time to hear their stories, you'll learn otherwise. With each child who arrives the stories become more haunting. A little girl is raped by her father and contracts HIV. A beautiful smiling toddler refuses to go to the bathroom, when examined we realize she's been horribly molested. A tiny baby boy left in a back room to die when his family finds out he's HIV positive.

As horrible as their pasts have been, these kids greet you with joy, because they have been given another chance. They have hope because a lady named Nelly listened to what God commanded His people and she acted upon it. Nelly is a single lady from South Africa who put her faith in the Lords provision and began taking in needy children. After working with Nelly for 5 months I realized God has aligned our hearts in so many ways and I needed to continue to work with her. In the months since I have been gone every day my heart longs to return, to be with my children again.

I am writing you all today to update you all on the journey God has put me on the past year and what He's laying ahead of me. Ever since I was young God has been laying it upon my heart to love His children and so far He's blessed me time and time again with opportunities to do so. He laid particularly on my heart, those children of Africa. My life long dream came true when I was able to spend 9 months in South Africa. I was able to plug into some existing ministries there, including an after school program for children in the poorest areas of South Africa, a youth group in that same area, and I was able to work at 7^th Heaven Childrens Haven. When I left Jeffreys Bay I knew in my heart my time there was not over, I needed to return. My original plan when leaving was to return to Wisconsin for the year, save up money and go back to school and then return to South Africa the following fall. I have learned that God has quite different plans than we do sometimes, and instead of returning to school I found myself in Oaxaca, Mexico. Since October I have been working at an orphanage here and its been a huge blessing. God has taught me immensely since being here, lessons I don't think I would have ever learned anywhere else. I was also blessed to be able to spend this time with my sister Carmen and her husband. Although my time here has been wonderful, and the people have stolen my heart, I always know, deep down, I'm only here for a season. I must return to Africa.

After spending much time in prayer things began to fall into place and God opened up an opportunity for me to return! 7^th Heaven is planning to relocate and expand in February. This entails much work for Nelly, the lady who runs the place. Already being quite burned out from caring for 14 children on her own, I knew this move would only exhaust Nelly more. My hope is for my cousin James and I to arrive at the end of February to help them get settled, and relieve Nelly of some everyday tasks she needs to do, such as clinic runs(as many of the children are HIV positive), helping children with homework, taking care of everyday needs, encouraging Nelly, and of course, loving on the kids. Not only will we be working with the orphanage but James and I also hope to plug back into some of the ministries I worked at last year. This time will also be a trial time for me as I am considering returning next fall and committing more long term.

The thing is, I can't do this alone. I need YOUR help, as the body of believers to join in this ministry with me. We're all called to love the orphans and the widows, the sick and the dying, please join me in doing so. You can help first and foremost with your prayers, and also financially. I saved enough money to pay for my round trip plane ticket but any expenses while being there I need to raise in support. Please let me know if you're willing to give, any bit helps. I apologize but I am going alone this time without a sending agency so any donations will have to be sent directly to me where I will deposit into my account. God bless you all and thank you for everything you've been to me.

Samantha

I wonder how much digging it would take to find the church in the purest forms- people whose love and compassion for God overflows into the lives of the most needy." -Red Letters

there's nothing in the world like adolescents

Tue, 5 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

As we sit in the kitchen of my friend Jill and Janelle's apartment its no wonder that 6 year old Sol cannot focus on her homework. In the Jenny Jump Up baby Vicki is bouncing away, the teenagers, Eduardo and Yoli futzing around with the computer playing different music and Andrea and I are chatting away. I have been assigned to work with Sol on her homework for vacation. Working with Sol has proven to be a huge task as the majority of the time she refuses to do anything and takes about 20 minutes to copy one word, when she has been assigned three pages to copy. If it weren't for her being so cute she would drive me literally insane. Finally realizing she's not going to get anything done with all these distractions I send her away to another room to work.

Life here in Oaxaca has taken a new turn, instead of my usual surrounding of little boys I have been given the job of being in charge of 10 teenage girls ages 13-18 for a couple days. At first I was terrified to, I always feel so intimidated by them because they are really hard to get to know. The teenage boys are thrilled with any extra attention you give them, and the little kids, well they are little kids of course they are easy to spend time with, but teenage girls, they're a little more difficult. Luckily I have been able to get to know a couple of them during Christmas break so I at least had my foot in the door. My time with them began Monday morning at breakfast, I am not much of a talker when I first wake up so being with little kids in the morning can be a bit overwhelming for me, teenage girls on the other hand, they are more my style. As I looked around the table hardly a word was spoken, all of them just stared blankly barely able to eat. As they continued to eat one by one they began to wake up and there would be a little bit of chatting and giggling here and there. As the day went on some of the walls seemed to have come down and I found myself laughing and talking with the girls. With every moment I spend with them I love them a little more. They get so giddy when they talk about their crushes and all that petty stuff it cracks me up! It's been great as my friend Andrea is in charge of the teenage boys so Jill and Janelle's house, where we've been camping out while they're gone, has become the common grounds of both sexes.

Last night as I sat watching a movie with the girls I looked around the room and got really sad, I only have a month left here but now I so badly long to pour into these girls. I hate the fact that my spanish is so poor because there is so much I want to talk to them about. I am only a couple years older than most of them so I feel like I could really be able to relate with them. I want them to know how much they are loved, even if their pasts haven't really convinced them of that. They need to know their worth despite what they've been told all their lives. Sometimes I look at my life and feel so guilty, why have I been so blessed when so many others have experienced so much pain? It reminds me of a part of a song by Bretty Dennen when he says "in a world of suffering why should I be so blessed?" One thing God teaches me over and over however is no matter where He has you in life, whether it's in a time of suffering or a time of extreme blessing, use it for His glory. There is so much that can be learned and taught in the face of suffering and in a time of blessing I believe you should really pour into others. So that's a bit of my life at this point in time. Sorry I haven't been keeping up better with this! Hope you all are doing well and please feel free to write me, I love hearing from everyone and what's going on in your lives as well. I must apologize at times I can be slow to respond but I WILL at somepoint! Take care and God bless! -Sama

One of the teenage girls, Yoli and I playing with Andrea's MacBook

here but my heart is there...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I laid on the couch watching Miracle on 34th Street with the boys I had little Izar snuggled into my side. All of the other boys, including the helpers Jose and Sergio sat restlessly trying to watch the movie. Every few minutes we'd be interupted by a pillow flying, wrestling boys followed by a bloody nose, tickeling, climbing on eachother, giggling, fighting...boys will be boys. I have realized since being here that nearly all of my time is spent with boys, but I love it! Since I was young I just felt like I fit in with them better. In my family there are 4 girls first followed by 2 boys, I am the last girls so I was always clumped along with my little brothers. When my parents yelled "girls!" it meant Katie Carmen and Sarah, when they called the boys, it included me and my brothers. I like to wrestle, and act goofy right along with them, however sometimes that gets me in trouble, sometimes I am a little too rough and manage to hurt grown men(you can ask my africa team about that one!). Today I spent my entire day with the guys. My friend Andrea and Ricardo invited me along with them as they brought the teenage boys to Oaxaca to hang out in the city. We had a wonderful time together, we ate at McDonalds and then Andrea and I sat and had coffee together while the boys walked around. At one point while we were sitting there all 9 boys and Andreas husband decided to check in on us. You can imagine the waitors response when he saw 10 Mexican guys standing around these 2 little Americans stealing drinks of their coffee. A waitor immediately came to our sides and told them they all must leave. It was quite an akward moment for all of us as we had to explain to the waitor that no, everything was okay and they were with us! I think he was embarrassed but we were glad that he was willing to help us if it were an emergency! The way home was a blast, I sat in the back with the boys teaching them english and goofing off. I had them saying different things like " I am so cool!" without explaining to them what they were saying, oh it was a great time. When we returned home I immediately joined Sergio and Jose as they were taking care of the little boys so the rest of my night consisted of time spent with my other boys.

(Andrea Ricardo and some of the teenage boys)

(boys will be boys!)

As I spend more and more time here, I fall more in love with the people around me but I have realized something, I always think of these kids as "their kids." The little boys are Carmen and Fabi's kids, the teen boys are Ricardo and Andreas kids, and so on. I know deep down, they're not mine. I can sense in my spirit, I am here for the time being, but I am not meant to stay. The whole time I've been here I knew I needed to return to Africa. Those kids are "my kids" those are the kids I poured my everything into for the past year. Those are the kids my heart aches for every day. I know God has me here for the time being, I know I am here for a reason, but I know its temporary and I must return to Africa.

With that being said I wanted to share with you my future plans. A couple weeks backs I decided I really needed to start taking steps towards returning to South Africa. It was quite a God thing because it was shortly after that my cousin James asked me about coming here to visit in Oaxaca. I suddenly had the idea of him going with me to Africa and asked him about it. He had planned to take the semester off and travel South America with his sister but plans had fallen through and he was thrilled about considering joining me. Since then we've been in constant prayer about it and both feel like this is where God wants us. We will both be taking steps out in faith as we do not have the money we need to do this, we will have to trust God to provide for us. Our hope is to go at the end of February and stay until the end of April. We will be staying at the orphanage I worked at last year and helping Nelly, the house mother out. The orphanage is relocating in February and so we hope to help them with the move as well as relieve Nelly of some of her responsibilities. Nelly has been extremely burnt out lately as she is often the only one caring for up to 14 children, including many babies and toddlers at times. We want to be a blessing for her and help her out in any way possible, which may include, caring for the kids, doing clinic runs(much of her time is spent in the HIV clinic with the kids), helping around the house, cooking, cleaning, whatever we can do. I'd also really like to reconnect with the people I built relationships with last year, especially the youth group. This time will also serve as a testing period for me as I consider returning next year to help out more long term at the orphanage. I haven't begun working on support letters yet, but I WILL have to raise support. Please be praying about whether or not you'd like to join us in this ministry by supporting through prayers or financially. We can't do this on our own, we need the help of the body of believers, which includes YOU! Please contact me if you'd like to help, don't feel like you need to commit to anything much, the littlest bit counts! Thanks for all of your prayers and support. May God bless you.

-Sama

Thanksgiving Oaxacan style!

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Life since Carmen and Fabian returned has been much more tranquil. As many of you know my sister and brother in law had to leave abruptly after the death of Fabians Dad, leaving me in charge of their 10 boys. It was a pretty crazy time and I wanted to kiss the ground they walked on when they returned. When I saw them coming down the drive way of the mission I was so ecstatic that I couldn't wait until they arrived, so I ran meeting them half way. I was so thrilled to have them back, not only because they'd relieve me of the boys but because I honestly really missed them. The last couple weeks since their return have just been another adjustment, trying to find out where I fit here and how I can be of use.

Last Thursday was thanksgiving which ended up being a wonderful day. There are currently 5 of us Americans here and we made up for in excitement whatever was lacking from the rest of the base. We began the morning listening to Amy Grants Tennessee Christmas and cooking. Carmen and I reminisced as we listened to the music we had grown up with, it was so wonderful to be with family again for the holidays. I was in charge of doing the decorations so Carm and I spent the rest of the day coloring thanksgiving pictures and creating little tissue paper turkeys. Before we knew it the day was over and it was time for the party to begin. Fear rose in us as guests kept filing into the comedor, many of which we didn't even invite. "Would we have enough food?" was on all of our minds. But everything went smoothly and we even had extras. I don't know if anyone really enjoyed the meal as much as we Americans did however. American food is very different for Oaxacans and they don't usually like it, many were wondering where the tortillas and salsa were. But in the end everything went wonderfully. We had a splendid time of fellowship with each other and filled up on turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie, probably the last American food I'll be eating besides McDonalds for the next few months!

I hope you all know that I very much appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement. They seriously mean so much to me. If you could continue praying for me, prayers are always needed. This weekend I may have the opportunity to go to the mountains to help serve with a team. Please pray for our protection and that we'd be able to be an encouragement to the people there as the area we are going to is very dark spiritually. Also please continue to keep my decisions about Africa in your prayers. I have to make decisions very soon whether or not to stay here longer or return to Africa to help Nelly with the orphanage. Pray that I'd be able to see the Lords hand and will in it all. I thank you all for everything! God bless. -Sama

the comedor all ready for the guests to arrive

The Family!

Me, Sergio and Jose (the teen helpers in Carmens house

Eduardo Carmen Fabian Jeovani

Geovanni Dany Jose Hector Chuchito Yovani Tulio and Izar

Jose and I excited and ready to help!

Some good quotes

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Right now I am reading 'No Greater Love' by Mother Teresa. I know many people have different takes on her and tell me what you want but I don't see how anyone could have the love she had without Christ. I think she is a beautiful woman of God and she can teach us a thing or too but here are some quotes I really enjoy from her.

"I have experienced many human weaknesses, many human frailties, and I still experience them. But we need to use them. We need to work for Christ with a humble heart, with the humility of Christ. He comes and uses us to be His love and compassion in the world in spite of our weaknesses and frailties."

"I feel that we too often focus only on the negative aspect of life-on what is bad. If we were more willing to see the good and the beautiful things that surround us, we would be able to transform our families. From there, we would change our next-door neighbors and then others who live in our neighborhood or city. We would be able to bring peace and love to our world, which hungers so much for these things."

"Let us conquer the world with our love. Let us interweave our lives with bonds of sacrifice and love, and it will be possible for us to conquier the world. We do not need to carry out grand things in order to show great love for God and for our neighbor. It is the intensity of love we put into our gestures that makes them into something beautiful for God. "

"True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy. That is why we must pray to God and ask Him to give us the courage to love. From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. If your heart is full of love, you will speak of love. I want you all to fill your hearts with great love. Don't imagine that love, to be true and burning, must be extraordinary. No; what we need in our love is the continuous desire to love the One we love."

Hope you enjoy them...

18 hours, 26 children and one bloody mess...

Sat, 7 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

In the middle of the second movie of the night, which the boys so pleaded to watch, I woke up and looked around the room to see 12 sleeping little boys. Only Isar the youngest remained awake. Curled up with me on the couch were Chucho and Geovanni 3, and sprawled about the floor and other furniture laid the others. As I tip toed around the living room putting extra blankets on the boys my heart just broke, these boys need moms, they need someone who truly loves them, who will let them curl up in their arms and just be little boys. They are the most loving children, craving affection all day long. I constantly have a child wrapped around me or kissing my cheek and its not just the littlest ones, 11 year old Jose is constantly hugging and kissing me and telling me he loves me.

As I write this its approaching midnight and I am relieved that I made it through the day and it was actually a really good day, I would not have expected that by how it began. Immediately when I woke up this morning I was in a bad mood. I felt completely exhausted as though I had gotten no sleep whatsoever . When I slipped into the boys room to wake them up I found them already awake and already fighting and tattling on each other. There wasn't an ounce of patience in me and I ended up locking myself in the bathroom pretending not to hear them knocking on my door every five minutes to ask if they could do a puzzle before school. Once the boys and I were all ready we headed to the Comedor to eat. This week I am on dishes so breakfasts are very crazy for me. I arrive early and get the table set and boys all served then must begin the dishes. The boys aren't supposed to serve themselves so every couple of minutes I'd run back to the table to tend to the boys and then return to the kitchen. Doing the dishes can be very time consuming with the 3 people it requires so when I found myself alone doing the dishes I was about ready to break down and cry. The dishes piled up around me and my partners were nowhere to be found. And if I didn't have enough work on my hands after I ran all the dishes through the dish washer they came out dirty so I had to wash them all by hand. When my partners finally arrived a half an hour late I couldn't hide that I was upset. I hate to be angry with people and so I try my hardest to separate the action from the person and not treat them any differently but even though I promised her I really wasn't angry at her, I also couldn't be fake and pretend I was in a good mood. After dishes we had to rush into devotions late and through out the entire time, and during the prayer meeting as well all I could think about was how excited I was to go back to bed while the boys were at school. You can imagine my expression when right after the prayer meeting I was informed that I had to watch all the nursery kids for the morning. Oh how badly I wished I had the ability to be fake but on the spot I almost burst into tears. As I thought about the day before me I actually did shed a tear or two. I had to watch the little kids for the next 4 and a half hours until my own boys came home, I'd have to tend to their needs all evening and then of course tonight is family night which means I have to keep them entertained all night as well and they probably wouldn't go to bed until about 11. Oh how was I going through the day when I wasn't sure I'd make it through the next 20 minutes. At this moment Philippians 2:14 -16 came to my mind

"Do all thngs without grumbling or questioning that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life.." It was then that the conviction kicked in. Just the day before we talked about how each day we have the choice of having a good day or bad day, its our decision to let the circumstances of the day control us or not. Luckily this was the turning point in my day and from that point on I really did enjoy every minute of the day. The kids played during the morning then we went and had a snack and afterwards I bathed them all and put them down for naps. While they were napping I had a few spare minute to do another drawing (my therapy these days) and shortly after my boys arrived. On Fridays the kids get home between 1 and 1:30 so we had time to get all the chores done before lunch. After lunch we all worked on homework and afterwards I sent them to bathe. After dinner family night began. I don't know how but by some miracle I actually had the energy to run around and play with the boys. We played Sardines outside and soon my 10 boys turned into 22 boys and girls. We played for quite sometime before we moved onto the scavenger hunt that I had set up. We were on our last clue that let out by the bunny cage when I heard screaming. I ran to my boys rolling my eyes expecting it to be yet again another fight but instead I was greeted by 7 year old Hector running into my arms with blood pouring down his face. He had fallen into the rocks and his nose was gushing blood. Sadly to say this was the 3^rd injury we had this week that consisted of many tears and a lot of blood and required an icepack and Tylenol. Once we got him all cleaned up and "nurse Jill" (my friend who I always grab to help me with my broken children) checked him out we decided to tone down the night and put in a movie. So that brings us to now, 18 hours, 26 children, and one bloody mess later. God is good and will always give us the strength we need to do what He has called us to do.

two of my boys, isar and chucho..

Hector the one who had the accident..his face is a

little beat up but not too bad...

Geovanni #3..he was the second injury notice we had to shave part of his head

The kids playing red rover..which was the cause of injury number 1

thats my house...don't I live in a beautiful place?!

the angels wings will cover you tonight...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

It brings me great saddness to share with you all that my precious little Wanga passed away. I just got the news today and my heart shattered. We received Wanga in the orphanage I worked at in Africa earlier this year and with my first glance at him he stole my heart. He was 7 months old and only weighed about 10 pounds. He was the tiniest little thing ever. His little body was nothing but loose skin over bones and his head seemed to dominate his entire body. But he was the most beautiful little boy and I would have done anything for him. I remember shortly after he arrived bathing him in a little tub, seeing him naked broke my heart, every bone in his body stuck out. He immidiately became "my baby" and Nelly would at times allow me to take him for the day. The most special day I remember with Wanga was Easter Sunday. Nelly allowed me to take him for the entire day. I brought him with me to church and then he spent the afternoon in our house of girls. I remember taking my scarf and turning it into a sling for him and so he spent the entire afternoon nuzzled up next to me. I felt like such an African mama as I hand washed and hung up my clothes and did my chores all with him strapped to me. As the weeks went on Wanga was getting more and more healthy he began putting on weight and was almost even sitting on his own! I was so thrilled and was sure he would be okay. So when I got the news that he died it hit me hard. My tiny precious little Wanga will always be in my heart. I have dealt with alot of death this year 6 people I loved passed away just in the last 9 months. But one thing I am reminded of with each death I face is you cant allow losing people keep you from loving. I used to hold back loving people knowing that I would have to one day say goodbye but after losing so many I am all the more inspired to love. I have realized I am never guarunteed another minute with them so I should enjoy every minute with them and love them with everything in me. Little Wanga is with Jesus now. I don't know how heaven works but maybe one of the angels has him strapped to her

Easter Sunday with Wanga

ultimate comfort

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Lately I keep finding myself comparing my time here to my time in Africa. The truth is my experiences have been completely and utterly different and I know that each instance has been part of God's plan to teach me something new. Compared to my time here, Africa was easy. In Africa I had an amazing support system, I had people all around me who spoke my language and were there for me. Each day we were in classes where we were taught truths and were poured into by people who loved us. I was even discipled by an amazing woman of God. Here on the other hand, I hardly have a support system, my sister is basically the only one I can go to for the time being. I am surrounded by people who don't speak my language and I cannot be taught very much because I cannot understand most of what I am being told. So why then are my spirits so much higher here and why am I so much more encouraged here than I was in Africa? I was thinking about my arrival to Africa as I journaled today. I struggled so much in the beginning, I didn't want to meet anyone, I didn't want to pour into people, I felt quite depressed. Now when I look back I realize it was all about my standing with God. I was struggling so much in my relationship with God that everything else was crumbling beneath me. I have realized in all the times that I have doubted God and His existence, the rest of my life falls apart because HE is my life. He is my reason for living. He's my reason for loving. He's the reason I want to keep going on even when its hard. He's the reason that I have a job that I work constantly but never get paid. He's the reason I am filled with love. He's the reason I have hope and want to give others that hope that only He provides. If I have not Him, I have nothing! So when I found myself at odds with God nothing in life really mattered. I couldn't dish out love because I felt dry. I couldn't speak passionately about my Savior because I felt no passion within me. But here I am now where I am going through a very difficult time but things are so much easier because I have God on my side and I am trusting in Him. Sure no one is specifically speaking words of truth into my ears(or not that I can comprehend anyways) but the Holy Spirit has been in constant conversation with me. I'll be hanging up clothes and he's speaking to me, or sitting in church not understanding a word and He's speaking. I feel so encouraged because He's encouraging me.

I apologize if this blog seems a little out there to some. I probably sound a bit loopy but everything I have written I am writing from my heart. I know people from all backrounds and beliefs read my blogs and so I ask that if you are confused or don't believe what I write please don't just write me off, ask me about it, I'd love to talk. God bless and thank you all for your prayers I feel them here!

Silence in the midst of noise

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

At five thirty this morning I threw in the towel to the battle I had been fighting all night. It was on my mind since I went to sleep that I was in charge of waking up the boys and seeing them off to school. If I slept in, the whole house would pay for it. With that on my mind I woke up constantly from 3 o'clock on. Carmen and Fabian and the two other American girls are all gone in Morelia for the week leaving me with 10 little boys and a 15 month old baby girl.

I threw on my clothes and slipped outside into the darkness. It felt as though it were still the middle of the night, the night sky had not a glimpse of sunlight but the stars glowed brightly. When I entered the boys room I turned on the light interrupting the sweet slumber of my little ones. No one was thrilled about waking up and they all stumbled about still half asleep. They didn't need my help with anything so I retreated to Carmens house to make myself some coffee. By 7:00 all the boys were ready and Baby Celena was awake so we went to the dining hall for a breakfast of quesadillas (very typical of mexico). Meal times are very stressful for me as I attempt to tend to the needs of 11 little ones, I am lucky if I get a couple bites of my meal. Afterwards I practically had to chase the boys to the bus so they would make it in time. I felt a sigh of relief when they all loaded the bus and they were no longer my responsibility for awhile. I got Celena ready and headed to the nursery because it was my turn to watch the kids during our morning devotions. I ended up having to leave early because Celena was so crabby so by ten o'clock she was back in bed for her morning nap.

While Celena was sleeping I had my first break down here. I suddenly felt so overwhelmed and alone. Here I am, in Mexico, the only other American here right now is a 50 year old man. I have only known those around me for less than two weeks and hardly anyone speaks a word of English. My Spanish is not coming at a fast enough rate for me which leaves me stumbling around clueless half the time. I miss my friends, I miss my family and I miss my language! I wanted to give up. To not care anymore and to just go. Its times like these that I am so thankful for my Lord. If it weren't for Him and His constant comfort and companionship I would be utterly alone and I know I wouldn't make it. In times like these when I have nothing of comfort to cling to, that's when I need to cling to Him the most. Well its funny, as quickly as this breakdown began it left. I was walking outside where I saw Santiago(the other american) doing yard work. He had his baby daughter Sally in the stroller beside him and so I offered to care for her. As soon as I talked to him and scooped the beautiful little one in my arms I forgot all about the frustrations that were aggravating me so and I was once again joyful to be where I am.

The boys got home around 2:00 and the craziness began. From the time they get home, until the time they go to bed its constant chaos. To care for 10 boys between the ages of 6 and 12 is enough in and of itself, but to care for 10 boys who speak only Spanish is a whole different story. I am understanding more each day but half of the time that they are telling me things I have no clue what they are saying. Jose the 12 year old cracks me up because he thinks if he says things really slowly or has me say it with him I will suddenly understand but that is not the case if I have never heard the word in my life! Ha! Oh the joys. From 3:00 until dinner at 6:30 the boys had to do their homework, chores, and bathe. I am so thankful for my sister Carmens very strict and structured household because the boys know exactly what to do and when to do it so there isn't much questioning. I am pretty useless when it comes to homework so I am very blessed that Carmen's oldest boys, Sergio and Jose who are 18 and 15 help me. By dinner at 6:30 the boys were squeaky clean and in their pajamas. That is how they go to dinner at night, all in their little super hero pjs! Its precious. Here in Mexico lunch is the main meal and dinner is always just something light so tonight we had cereal and bananas. I think that is something America should do more of because its probably a lot better for your body to eat less at night. After dinner the boys played for a little bit and then my friend Oscar helped me put them to bed. By 8:00 they were all in bed and Celena and I retreated to the house to wind down with some Winnie the Pooh. Now its almost 10. Everyone is asleep and I am utterly exhausted. I must go to bed for tomorrow begins the cycle again!

Please pray for my Spanish! I have been studying like crazy and trying to practice as much as possible. I hear total immersion is the best way to learn but with my impatience I expect myself to be fluent in the two weeks I have been here and I grow more and more frustrated with each day that I am still struggling.(I am exaggerating but I do really hold myself to a high standard) Pray that I will be able to learn at a divine rate. Also please pray that I would make good relationships here. It can be so lonely to hear silence in the midst of noise, I just long to have a heart to heart conversation but that's not quite possible with my minimal Spanish. Thanks all for your prayers! God bless you. -Sama

Oh one last thing. Please pray for me as I have a big decision ahead of me to make. I need to get a visa to be able to stay here. Oaxaca is a very difficult place to get a visa and our lawyer said its best if I get a student visa. If I do that I must enroll in spanish classes here. Part of me is thrilled about this, to really invest one hundred percent while I am here and be here for about a year. The other part of me wonders if I should not invest here but rather return to America and begin preparing to return to South Africa where my heart aches for. Both are good, both excite me, so which do I choose?

dia numero tres en Oaxaca

Sun, 4 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I write this blog I am sitting in my sister and brother in laws house. Beside me is Fabian with this hideous orange tube in which he intends to cover the cords of our computers becaues his new kitten has taken a liking to chewing them. He couldn't understand why Carmen and I laughed and didn't like the idea. In the kitchen Carmen is busy helping her boys with their homework. Its sunday afternoon and I am once again so exhausted. I can't sleep at night which is doing a great toll to me during the day. This morning I was awaken by a lady knocking at my door asking me to help in the cuna, which is the nursery. I had to toss some church clothes on and quickly go to help. I got the four boys ready for church and then at 9:30 we filed into the bus for church. The service was really good and I was very thankful that Carmen was translating so I actually understood it. I was in charge of our four little boys from the cuna during church and they did quite well. Luis our 18 month old fell asleep in my arms and proceeded to sweat all over me. My looks have no hope here I have come to realize. I am always sweaty and I don't put any effort into looking nice. My clothes are always filthy from the children, yesterday we had to be all dressed up for a big party here and before it even started Luis peed all over me. I didn't even care and just stayed in my pee clothes for the rest of the night. Now I am watching a 15 month old little girl named Celena and she ate speghetti today and so of course now I have that all over my church clothes. Oh well. So yes things here are going great. I am struggling through my spanish but I am learning more and more which is good.

Please pray for me that I would catch on to the language quickly. Also please pray that I would be used of God here and be able to serve as best as I can here. Lastly...I could use prayer for some sleep. I hate to be slow and out of it during the day so I must learn to sleep better at night. Thank you all for everything. God bless you.

I'm in Oaxaca

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I stepped off the plane in Mexico City my heart raced. I had know clue what I was doing so I followed the directions I received, "just go with the flow of the crowd". And so that's what I did, I was given a piece of paper to fill out and then was sent through the immigration line. They hardly asked any questions and sent me on my way. I knew at that point that I was supposed to switch airlines and so I figured the check in would be right there, that was not the case. About every five feet I went I went to a worker asking them where I should go. The ones that could speak English tried to tell me where to go but I ended up just more confused. Finally I found myself in a line that looked like it might be right and so I waited there for a good 10 minutes, pain running through my back with how heavy my backpack was. After waiting I got a sick feeling I was in the wrong place, I asked a English speaking man near by and found out, indeed I was in the wrong line. He directed me to the correct place where I embarrassingly didn't even know how to open the door. You can only imagine how flustered and upset I was, here I am in a foreign country by myself, I have no clue where to go, no clue where I am, and I can't even open the door! The man on the other side laughed and explained to me that I must slide it open, easy enough! He checked me in and then told me of a train that would lead me to the right terminal. After asking many more people finally I found that train. I was expecting the train to take me about 50 feet to the next terminal, but nope it looped us way into the city before returning us to the airport. I just prayed "Lord don't let me just get dropped off in the middle of this city, please let me be on the right train." Thank God it was and I got there just fine. But that was not the end of it. I continued to be lost and continued to have to ask every worker possible how to get to the next point, but alas after 2 hours from the time I landed I was able to find the correct place. Lets just say I'm not that travel smart. When I finally arrived in Oaxaca I couldn't have felt more relieved to see my sister Carmen and brother in law Fabian right there waiting for me. I spent my first night at Carmen and Fabians house but really didn't get any sleep. I didn't get to bed until probably after 1 and then spent the whole night tossing and turning. Ever since I found out there are tarantulas here I have been freaking out, so every noise I heard last night caused me to jump up and fear it was a tarantula. I felt like I had just fell asleep at 5:30 when I heard my brother in law wake up. I considered to continue trying to fall asleep but at 6:15 I gave up and got ready for the day.

The mission decided to put me right to work here and so after I unpacked I was told to watch the "cuna kids" which are 4 boys ages ranging from 1-5. My exhaustion totally kicked in and I found myself barely able to function. I sat there so flustered, I wanted to talk to people but the communication barrier made that pretty much impossible except for the total basics. I had no clue what I was supposed to do or how long I'd be with these kids. Was I told for a couple hours or all weekend, I wondered? Finally Carmen freed me at about 3:30 and told me to go rest. Now those of you who know me know I am naturally quite spacey, I hate to admit it but I really am. Well now add in that I can't speak the language, no one is giving me real directions as to what's going on, and I'm exhausted beyond belief! I am in over my head!

Please pray for me as I adjust, pray that I would learn the language at a divine rate and that I would be able to serve rather than be more of a hindrance. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Please write also as any news from you all will more than thrill me! God bless. -Sama

Goodbye Arizona

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Today is my last day in Arizona. I have been staying here with my sister and her family for the past week. It was a total God thing that I was able to spend some time with them before heading down to Oaxaca and I'm very thankful for it. I am so blessed to be at a time in my life where I don't have many obligations and so I can travel and visit family. My sister Sarah and her husband Zac have two children, Aiden is 3 and Elise is 8 months old. Aiden has been my little side kick since I got here. He wakes me up in the morning barreling into my room and jumping into bed with me. He proceeds to crawl under the blankets and pretend to sleep for about two minutes before he giggles and runs out yelling "Goodbye snuggle bug Auntie Sam," only to return moments later. From that point on during the day he's never far away. I have learned to lock the door even to go to the bathroom because once I shut the door I hear the knob jiggle as he tries to come in.

I remember when I was young just dying to be an aunt. My sister used to promise me, "When you're in Highschool maybe you'll be an aunt." Then it was "When you're a Junior maybe you'll be an aunt" The last promise was by the time I graduated Highschool I'd get to be one. Neither of my sisters made it in time to fulfill that promise but my nephew Aiden was born August after I graduated and Landon was born November that same year. Being an aunt has been everything I've ever dreamed of and more. I love all three of my munchkins so much.

My time here in Arizona has been great, I have had a lot of time to relax, read and have quality time with my sister. I'm saddened by how fast my time here has gone and I can't believe already tomorrow morning I fly to Mexico. I am sick to my stomach nervous about flying internationally by myself.

"What if I miss a flight? What if my bag weighs too much? What if I can't figure out what to do at customs?" The worries go on and on. Please be praying for me, that everything will go smoothly and I will make it to Oaxaca safely. I should be arriving at about 9:45pm in Oaxaca and I will update you all when I have a chance. Thanks for your prayers. -Sama

and the nervousness kicks in

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I tossed and turned all night last night, overwhelmed by the sick feeling of nervousness. It always happens before I embark on another adventure in life. First it was going off to school, then it was leaving for Africa, now leaving for Mexico. The weeks leading up to my departure are always the hardest for me as I think about leaving my loved ones and stepping into a future which I have no idea of. I experienced this the worst before leaving for Africa, but now having gone so far God has taught me something that I need to place my focus on to find comfort. He is ALWAYS there. As I step forth into the unknown He is guiding me and holding my hand. No matter what life throws at me He'll be enough for me, HE will be my comfort, HE will be my strength. I am so blessed to have that truth to hold onto. Please be praying for me as tomorrow I fly out. I will be heading to Arizona for the week to be with my sister Sarah and her family and then heading to Mexico on the 1st please pray for protection in my travels as well as comfort and peace that only the Lord can provide. Thanks all, your prayers are truly appreciated.

"Mex-co is really far away"

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"I'm really going to miss you when I'm gone" I told my 2 year old nephew as we drove home from church. Sundays are mine and Landons day as we go to church together. It amazes me how grown up he seems these days, I can actually have conversations with him now!

"Do you know I am moving to Mexico with Auntie Apple and Uncle Fabi Hot Dog?" I tried to explain to him. (the names are really what he calls them, he came up with them totally on his own!)

"Mex-Co is really far away" He responded sadly. My heart sank.

Yes its that time of year. The time when the realities of me leaving sinks in and the goodbyes begin. It is a bitter sweet time as my weeks are packed with visits from people from all aspects of my life. I love this time because I get to see all those people that mean so much to me that I don't get to see that often but at the same time it breaks my heart to have to say goodbye once again. Tomorrow I leave for Chicago, on my way down I'm stopping to see my cousins Danielle and James in Milwaukee and then spending the night with Ruth and Jesse in Chicago and hopefully visiting some of my other friends in the area. This is only the beginning of the goodbyes. Friday is my last day at my nanny job with my dearest Leesy and Leigh who have become like little sisters to me, and my last day working at the restaurant. Its funny how people begin to display their affection so much more when they know the end is coming soon. I have been so blessed with the relationships I have formed at work and lately each time I finish a shift I get hugs from the other workers and they tell me they love me. It means so much to me, I really love them all. The goodbyes continue all through next week I am heading to West Bend on Monday to see my cousins Laura, Mike and Jared, then on Tuesday mom and I are going to see Grandpa and Aunt Carol and the kids. I'm hoping to go down to Waukesha on Wednesday to see all my friends at New Tribes Bible Institute and then, alas friday comes, the day I fly out. Please be praying for my family and I in these times. I hate the hurt I cause my loved ones as I am constantly coming in and out of their lives. Pray for comfort and peace as we are apart.

alot has happened in one year...

Tue, 8 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Exactly one year ago today I was at training camp meeting for the first time, the team I'd move to Africa with. I remember sitting in the big tent, hot and disgusting and not knowing a soul. I was so overwhelmed, just that morning I said goodbye to my friends, family, and every aspect of the life I knew. I was in such shock that I couldn't even socialize, if anyone would have asked me how i was I probably would have broke down sobbing, the entire day I was on the verge of crying. Now one year later I cannot believe those people were ever not a part of my life. They are my family, nearly every day I talk to atleast one of them. In a years time so much has happened, we started as 50 strangers and soon formed a huge family. We prayed, rejoiced, faught, mourned, cried, and laughed with eachother. We all went through so much together that we have a bond that could never be broken. I praise God for the blessing that each and every one of you are in my life and no matter where life takes us you'll all have a special place in my heart.

Now here I am, one year later and once again I am leaving, this time to begin a totally different chapter of my life. Instead of flying to Africa with 50 others I am heading to Mexico all alone. This year will totally different than last year but thats when I am the most thankful for an unchanging God who never leaves my side. I don't need to fear the future and what it holds because no matter what He's holding me in His arms...what more could i need?

tickets have been purchased!

Mon, 7 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

It's amazing how sometimes you can really see God's hands in things, simple mistakes you make become like puzzle peices into the greater picture. That's how I have been feeling with my trip to Mexico. I kept putting off purchasing a plane ticket, something within me just told me to wait, maybe it was God. So I continually procrastinated and then I got a call from my sister asking me to come spend some time with her in Arizona on my way down to Oaxaca. I enjoyed the thought of it but didn't think it would be a possibility. I decided to check out the tickets and found out it wouldn't cost much more to fly there and then fly down to Oaxaca a few days later. As I went online to buy the tickets once more I just felt a nauseous feeling about it and decided to wait on making the decision. I was constantly in prayer asking God what his plan was and tossing around a couple different ideas when I got a call from my sister telling me she was getting baptized just days before I was coming. Due to my putting off I was able to change my plans and leave earlier, now not only will I get to visit my sister but I will get to celebrate with her as she is baptized. God is good and He's doing a great work here. I know it may not seem like much but it was just one of those God moments where I see Him crafting something together.

Today was an all together encouraging day beginning with my sunday school class. For the past two months I have been teaching 5th graders for sunday school. This sunday was the beginning of the new school year and so I had a fresh batch of students. We will be studying Old Testament Champions so we began the year off with Hebrews 11. I was so ecstatic when rather than it being like pulling teeth to get an answer out of the kids they were jumping in and excited to learn. I can't tell you how encouraged I was as at the end the students began to discuss the crucifixion and how it was such a demonstration of Christs love for us. I know I sound like an old lady right now but it I can't express how exhilarating it is to see the passion God is stirring up in the hearts of these young students.

God really is good. We all know it but isn't it amazing when you get that slap in the face realization of it? My prayer is that we will always keep that reality, that we will never be numb to the workings of God but that we will be so blown away and astounded by our Lord that our lives sing of His greatness.

the calm before the storm

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

For the past 3 months I have been living at home in Sheboygan. It was quite a struggle for me at first as I tried to find my place here after being gone for so long. My weeks were long and uneventful and I felt quite lonely. Now looking back I am very thankful I had that time to relax and spend time with God because as of now my life is crazy. God has blessed me with alot of time to spend with my friends and family the past couple of weeks. We spent a week camping in Northern Wisconsin with many aunts and uncles and other friends. The day after I got home two of my teammates that lived with me in Africa, Alexis and Ellen, came to visit. Alexis Ellen and I were together 24/7 for practically 9 months and so I missed them quite a bit not seeing them for 3 months. We were able to travel down to Chicago and visit three more of our teammates and had a great time. When I got back home my sister Sarah and her husband and two children had already arrived from Arizona. They are staying for two weeks at our house. The house has been so lively since their arrival, I love it because thats how our house used to always be before everyone grew up and moved out. Today my sister Carmen arrives from Oaxaca and at last the whole family, minus Carmens husband, will be together again. I can't even express how much I enjoy being with my family, I'm so thankful we were able to all unite again before I leave.

With all this craziness it is hard to believe that in just a few weeks I will be leaving for Oaxaca. The plan so far is to leave in middle or end of september and commit to 3 months. If everything goes well and I can get another visa, I will stay longer. Exactly what I will be doing there is unsure but they are short staffed and so I will be hired as a subsitute house parent. I will be in charge of taking care of the kids at the orphanage so that the house parents can take a break. My sister and her husband Fabian are currently house parents there and so I am quite thrilled to be able to spend time with them this year!

Your prayers are greatly appreciated by me please be praying that I will catch on to Spanish quickly as it will be essential. Also please be praying that everything works out financially as well. I will keep writing on this blog to keep you all posted as to whats going on so please keep reading. Until next time. -Sama

a dream come true

Wed, 27 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I cannot believe that just a couple of weeks ago I was in Africa, the continent of my dreams. Since I was young thats all I ever wanted to do. I didn't want to be rich or famous, I didn't invest in talents or hobbies, all I could think about was Africa. I wanted to bring hope to the hopeless. So here I am, back in Sheboygan Wisconsin and it feels like it was all just a dream, it feels as though I never even left. But I did, I spent 8 months in Africa and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for the world.

I always had this idea that I would step off of the plane and immediately fall in love with the people of Africa, I pictured my entire time in Africa as a spiritual high in which I had a continual supply of love pouring out of me. It was rough when a couple weeks into ministry I realized it was not that way. African children can get on my nerves just as much as American children can. There were days I felt I didn't have any love in me. It took me far too long to realize that in and of myself I do not have the love that is required of me, it's only through Christ that we can love. As time went by I started to see the people, not as a ministry project, but as my friends, my family. They were no different than you and I. They stole my heart away and a peice of me will always be in Jeffreys Bay South Africa. This past year was not easy by any means, I am grateful for that. God did not want us to have a good time in Africa and that be all, He wanted to shape us. He didn't want us to just learn things as head knowledge, but He placed us in the fire and allowed us to experience His truth. The death of my friend and teammate Sarah Buller changed me in a way that I could have never experienced through words on a page. God has taught me that our lives are just a moment, we are NEVER guarunteed another heart beat, we are NOT invincable. This should not cause us to be always fearful or avoiding death but rather give each day everything you've got. Don't live with regrets and never leave a person at odds. Love with your entire heart and do everything for the glory of God. God didn't intend for us to stay on this earth so why do we cling to every opportunity to prolong our stay? We aren't meant for this place, we have a heavenly calling and the end of this life will be the most beautiful day ever, the day we run into the arms of the One who holds our hearts.

Africa was amazing, I loved it, and I will never forget the things I have been taught there.

Goodbye Africa hello America

Thu, 14 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

It's hard to believe that right now I am in America...Africa already seems so far away. There is so much to update you all on but at this point I don't have the time as I am in Georgia spending the last day with my teammates and I will be flying home tomorrow. I will actually not even be in Wisconsin for a whole 24 hours before I get in the car with my family and truck across the United States to Mexico for my sisters wedding. I plan to write a very long blog explaining what has happened in the past month but it may be a couple of days or weeks before I can do it. All I can say right now is, I miss Africa...and I don't know how I will say goodbye to my teammates tomorrow. It's going to be rough.

Update

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hello all,

Sorry that it has been so long since I have last blogged. To be honest I have written blogs every week but for some odd reason I can never get them to post.

So I feel like alot has happened since I last wrote but I don't know what you all know so far but I will briefly update you.

So at the orphanage we have recieved two new children. One is a nine year old girl and the other is a 6 month old baby. The baby has stolen my heart. He came weighing just 3.8 kgs! He is nothing but loose skin over bones, it just breaks my heart to see how someone could allow a child to be treated that way. He's the most beautiful little baby ever! If I had the opportunity I would take him home with me! Please be praying for him that whoever decides to keep him will take good care of him, I'm having troubles trusting anyone with him after how he's already been treated. Secondly please be praying as I am considering returning to live at the orphanage and work under Nelly.

Ithemba is going great. My kids are learning so much and I really enjoy being with them. They are crazy as usual and at times hard to handle but they have a way of wrapping me around their tiny fingers.

DOG(Disciples of God) is going so wonderfully. Its so exciting to hear how God is working in the lives of the youth. Last week we let the kids come up for testimonies and I thought no one would come up. There ended up being so many students wanting to share what GOd was doing in their lives that we had to turn some down. Its so neat to hear of students who went from a life of sleeping around, drugs and alcohol but are now passionately pursuing a life for Christ. Keep praying for them!

So yea thats my brief update. This week I am heading off to Capetown for spring break with some friends it shall be nice and hopefully relaxing which is something I really need right now. God bless and keep in touch. -Sama

the future of this world is in the hands of the youth...

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

So last night was our official opening of the D.O.Gs program. That stands for Disciples of God, which is the youth program that I've been working with. I can't express how encouraged I was as we silenced the room and one by one we allowed the students to lift their prayers up to God. I was nearly brought to tears as they went on. I could hear real genuine passion in their words. Here are youth who have SO much going on in their lives. Girls who have been taken from their homes of Zimbabwe and forced to live in a country not their own, who cannot even afford to go to school. Students who have been abandon by their parents or who have lost their family members from HIV or who themselves have it. Girls who have been raped and abused. There is more going on in their lives than any of us could ever even fathom but their passion and their faith is so strong. They cling to God with all that they have. I see God doing a great thing here in Jeffreys Baai, he has done such a huge transformation in the hearts of the youth and I do not doubt that he's going to use them to impact this community. It brings me such joy to know I can invest my time here in these students and rest assure that GOd will finish the work He has begun and His ministry here will never end. Please keep praying for them. Pray that they will seek the Lord with their whole hearts, that they will turn from the wickedness of this world and fall into the arms of the One who offers them redemption and restoration. Pray they will stand up for their faith and set an example to all around them. They need your prayers, please think of them.

ministry!

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Greetings from South Africa...

Hello all I hope you are all doing well. I just wanted to post a little update on whats going on here in Jeffreys Bay. Life is crazy and stressful but amazing all at the same time. Here is a brief update on my ministries...

Ithemba...

Oh my goodness Ithemba is a crazy place. We have almost an entirely different group of kids and most of them are younger so my class of first and second graders ranges anywhere from 7-30 students. It's difficult because they are very inconsistent with their attendence which makes it hard to teach them. They are very active kids and sometimes they make me want to scream but they also have me wrapped around their fingers. I am so in love with these kids I cannot even express. I really enjoy working at Ithemba and each day I can't wait to return there.

7th Heaven...

I fall in love more and more with Nelly the owner with every minute I talk to her. She is such an amazing woman of God and we've become good friends. We currently have 7 kids who live there permanently but kids come in and out all the time, just this morning we got three more. It's so hard to see how it just tears the kids apart to be passed around so much. The oldest of the girls was crying the entire time and won't open up to anyone. I hope it'll get easier for her as she realizes that Nelly really does love her and her home is a safe place for her.

Please keep the orphanage in prayers as they are having some financial problems. If you are interested in supporting them or want more information on whats going on just email and I will let you know.

D.O.G.S( disciples of God)

We've finaly started! This is the youth group that I work with and I'm so excited to be back! God has really laid the youth on my heart so I'm excited for what he's got planned this year. I have gotten closer to some of the girls there and they are so amazing. I really see God raising them up as leaders and I know He will continue to use them long after I'm gone!

So yea that's some of what is going on here. Its really great and I don't know if I could be happier here. God is doing some big things here. Please keep us constantly in your prayers though because with all that God wants to do Satan wants to fight back. Just this semester our team has experienced 5 deaths amongst our friends and family. It's been very hard on our team as we are very emotionally and physically exhausted. There has been other things going on as well that have been very discouraging. So yes please keep us in your prayers.

Much love, Sama

::broken::

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God you will not despise. Psalm 51:16

I'm glad this is all God asks for because at times I feel this is all I have to offer.

::God has broken me::

When I came to Africa I was a bit disappointed because I expected it to be this emotional experience and I felt nothing. I saw the horrors right in front of me and yet it didn't faze me, but then I fell in love. It was when I allowed my heart to be swept away by the people of Africa that I was finally shattered. The pain that goes on in this place overwhelms me. I feel like this semester our team broke a layer. After 5 months of investing in these relationships we made a break through but in that we have seen a whole different side of what is going on here. I remember when I first got to Jeffreys Bay I didn't think it was that bad here. I wanted to go deeper into Africa because I thought everyone was doing alright here, I was wrong. This layer that we have broken through has opened us up to a whole new realm of pain. Sometimes the burdens are too much to bear, but that's when the beauty comes in. We do not have to carry the burden for they are not ours bear.

::broken::

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God you will not despise. Psalm 51:16

I'm glad this is all God asks for because at times I feel this is all I have to offer.

::God has broken me::

beyond me...

Fri, 6 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," the Lord explains in Isaiah 55:8. Sometimes I cling to this verse when I just don't understand God. I have to remind myself that the Lord is way beyond me and He knows far better than me so who am I to tell Him how to do things. Sometimes I feel like the Lord brings people and circumstances into our lives to do something in us and we'll never quite grasp the depths of the impact they really had on us. My friendship with Princess is a perfect example of this. From the time that I first heard about her in a prayer session God placed her on my heart. One of my teammates shared that they had met a lady sick with HIV and asked for us to pray for her. Immediately I began asking about her I felt as though I needed to meet her. Kepp shared with me that she met her doing house visits but didn't remember where she lived, the only one who knew was a lady named Felicity. Well it just so happened that on the way back from the prayer service I ran into Felicity, I know that God placed Felicity on my path because never before and never again have I seen her in that area of town but Felicity was happy to introduce her to me and that's where our friendship began. For the next 4 months I visited Princess often. I'd take her to church with me or just stop by and visit her. As time went by Princess's health deteriorated and she was often in the hospital and so I was able to visit her there as well. During Christmas break when I went to visit her she was nothing but skin and bones and she could no longer walk. My friends and I continued to visit her and would help her walk so she could sit outside for a bit of fresh air. My prayers in that time became more frequent and more insistent; I began praying for a miracle. In my heart I really believed the Lord would perform that miracle so when I got the news that Princess passed away my heart shattered. Why Lord? Why did you choose to take her like that? Why couldn't you have healed her? Why did she have to suffer so much pain? Why couldn't she live to see her little girls grow up? These answers I have not found. God's plan in bringing her into my life I also do not fully understand, but I know that He did and I know His plan is far bigger than I can comprehend. What I do know is that as I walked to ministry the next day my heart ached, it ached because I really loved my dear friend Princess and I really poured into her. I feared that losing someone I loved would cause me to hesitate loving again knowing I will one day lose them as well, but that's not at all what happened. That sting of pain encourages me all the more because it meant I really did love her and I want to love all the people God brings in my life that way. I want my heart to ache when I leave them for then, I feel, I really loved them with the love of Christ.

Second Semester

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Second semester has started and I couldn't be more excited to get in the swing of things. Last week was quite difficult as we had to say goodbye to our other teammates. Our team of 50 was split into 3 teams, one going to Swaziland, one went to Port Elizabeth, and my team stayed back in Jeffrey's Bay. It was not easy to say goodbye, we had all become like family and I couldn't help but feel left behind as the other teams were going off to new exciting locations and we were left in the same spot just with less people. There was a heaviness in the air for the first two days but the mood quickly changed as my team members returned from Holiday. When Amber, Aaryn, Alexis, and Ellen entered, the house was filled with laughter and joy again. I don't think we have stopped laughing since. My new team consists of 13 girls, no boys. At first I felt as though we got the short end of the stick as a team, we got no boys, the smallest team and only two leaders. This week as we spent time together and began figuring out our ministries I can see I was totally wrong. It is very evident with each moment that passes that God had his hand in picking this team. We may be a small team of females but God has big plans and I think we're going to cover some major ground. It's amazing to see how each of the girls on our team has such strong passions about certain people and ministries and yet they're all different enough so that we will be able to pour into many areas.

I am going to continue working at Ithemba, the after school center that I have been working with all year. The kids there are one of the main reasons I decided to stay in Jbay. The kids have stolen my heart and just three weeks without them has made me miss them so much. I feel like big things are going to happen there. We have two new members of our Ithemba crew and I feel as though they are a perfect addition to our team. Trinos, the leader of Ithemba has a lot of vision for this year and although I do not know exactly what that is I have a feeling it will be good.

Not only will I be working at Ithemba but I will also work at the orphanage here called 7^th Heaven. During the break I spent some time there just for fun and I have fallen in love with it there. 7^th Heaven is run by an amazing woman of God named Nelly. She is a single lady who has an never ending supply of love pouring out of her. She has an open house to children who need a place to stay but there are 7 kids there that are consistently there. The children range from a 10 month old up to a 13 year old. Linda is the oldest girl. She's 13 and the sweetest thing ever. Her and Tessa the 10 year old are like little mothers. They love to care for the babies and you practically have to pry them out of their arms. I am excited about the girls as I feel as I could be a big sister to them. I would really love to pour into Linda especially. The next child is an 8 year old boy named Renaldo, he had 6 year old Cornelius are best friends. They're always dancing around together pretending to be the guys from High School Musical 3. Lady is the newest addition to the family. She is two years old and just about the cutest little thing. She's always at my heals blabbering in Afrikaans, I just respond pretending as though I understand her. The babies are Blessing who is 14 months and Angel who's 10 months, both of which were found near starvation. When they were found people didn't think they would even make it they were so malnourished, but with Nelly's love and care they are now bouncing bundles of joy. All of the children adore them, even the boys wake up early in the morning so they can have a chance to help care for them. I just can't get enough of this family and I have been going there in my free time to be with them. Just Saturday I took all of them down to the beach. I don't even feel like they are my ministry but rather that they are my family here. I love to just sit and talk to Nelly, I think she could teach me so much.

I am really excited to see what God is doing right now as I see him stirring something up in my heart. Since last year he has brought a bunch of girls along my path and has been continually tugging on my heart about them. I have met each of them in different circumstances but all of them are about the same age. I don't think it's a coincidence that they're all about the same age and I have such a strong feeling about each of them. I am trying to pray and see what God is saying but I am thinking of leading a Bible Study on Purity with them. Please pray as I would have to come up with it completely on my own.

So that's a little update on life here in Jbay, I will keep you all posted on what happens as I feel God is about to do something big! God bless!